Then he realized his heart was numb:
one frosted, funereal plum.
Hunger for Love
This smoldering hunger for love,
Let it die out
and turn into cold ash,
For I have given up the chase.
My mind is like a firework
of indistinguishable thoughts
about everything and nothing—
what I see, what I was told,
against all I believe in.
They try to mold me
into someone they are comfortable with:
non-threatening, tamed and predictable.
So they could do what?
Dauntless are the souls
unfavored by the gods,
refusing to become
mere shadows among too many.
It scares me how we all wear masks.
It scares me I’m not an exception.
© 2019 Cassian Vu
You fight your unceasing war,
armed with nothing but a grain of hope
facing a vasty shore.
Time and again the great waves try
the resilience your marrow possesses
through their piercing cries.
Unsafe under your own skin—
gnawing doubts and stabbing echoes
veiled as the voices within.
On the brink of letting go, you recall
your nebulous lust for this rewardless life
that has more than once saved you from ending it all.
One decision away from returning to stardust,
still you are here—trembling, yet unyielding—
betokening the ones refusing to be crushed.
© 2018 Cassian Vu
Nothing in life is constant. Everything is constantly changing–every molecule of a body, every thought, every emotion, every plan. Our ever-changing lives resemble anything but a stationary lump of rock. Yet, even a lump of rock is not actually stationary.
Destiny, fate, or whatever you call the seemingly predestined plans for every life, are merely signposts that mark the beginning of a fork, an intersection with numerous different paths leading to a gazillion different outcomes. You cannot tell what makes what happen, what turns something or someone into something or someone else, what changes what. You can only make your own decisions and expect a shadow of a certain outcome which may or may not be the case in later reality. How you define yourself today may have nothing to do with the person you are five years from the present. Some traits stay, some do not. You should not delve into the past and vilify yourself for the mistakes you made a lifetime ago.
What is left, then, when you turn to ash? How many people actually leave behind a legacy and positively affect the society we are living in? What about the rest of us–the average ones struggling to make a decision in order to alter the disappointing outcome from a previous decision which stems from a false belief that resides in the mind of a completely different person that is once ourselves?
© 2017 Cassian Vu